July 18, 2019
Hey homies, checking in from the City of Brotherly Love, where Da Bomb is burning it up on the track, yo!
I went to the track with my cuzin Lex to see how fast we could each run a mile. He was like some big high school track star, so he was all like, “I was a big high school track star, so I’m faster than you.” And I was like, “We’ll see about that, yo!”
Long story short, I was about to pass him in the final lap, but then I started feeling all guilty and what not about breaking his spirit. So I eased up and let him finish ahead of me. I even started making some noises like a dying wildebeest to make it convincing.
Anyway, he finished in 5:15 and I finished in 5:41, but he’s like 27 or something now so I’m cool with dat. When I get my body fat down to 3% like my pops I’ll come back and smoke him.