Bite this, yo!

August 4, 2021

Yo, yo, yo! Long time, no Bomb, bitches! (That’s right, my moms says I can use curse words in my blog now that I’m 16 and shit!)

So my East Coast cousins finally made it out to Bombtown for a visit last week. When they saw me, they were all like, “Dang Bomb, you’re swole as shit now, yo!” And I was like, “I told ya’ll Da Bomb been bangin’ those weights!”

Then they start begging me to go to the beach so I can show off my guns and all and they can be seen with me, and I was like, “Whatever, stans.”

But you won’t believe what happened there, yo! We were boogie boarding some bitchin’ waves when all of a sudden this Great White shark comes swimming up.

I could hear his thoughts and he was all, “Yo, Bomb, I’m gonna bite your ass.” And I was like, “Yo, you try to bite Da Bomb and you the one gonna get bit, shark!”

But he was a big-time asshole and tried to bite me anway! So I was like, “Yo, you gonna get it now shark!” and I gave him a BombBlaster™ Uppercut in his dumbass beak.

And he was all like, “I’m sorry Bomb!” and started crying like a little bitch. And I was like, “Yo, I warned you, you stupid fish! Now go tell all your shark friends they better stay the hell away from Da Bomb’s beach!”

So he swam his ass out of there crying and sniffling and my cousins were all like, “Yo, Bomb, you’re our hero!”

So if any of you are planning to come to Solana Beach anytime soon, don’t worry, it’s shark free now!