June 16, 2019
Yo homies, you all know how much I love my boi Mario. He’s is almost as bomb as I am. You know, like I’m a hydrogen bomb and he’s an atom bomb. My psychiatrist is all like, “Addicus, Mario is not real, yo. He’s a video game character.” Dude is so whack! And I’m like, “Oh really, Dr. Dipstick, then how come I ran into him in the park yesterday and hung out with him all day?” And he was like, “You didn’t, Addicus. We’ve been through this many times before.” Like I said, dude so whack! Anyway, when me and Mario were chilling in the park, Squirtle came by and he had his cell phone and we asked him to take a picture of us and here it is. I know, dope right?
I told Mario how bummed I was about not being able to go to New York and then not being able to go to Philadelphia and that my mom is whack and my dad is whack and I wished Mario was my dad and Mario was like, “Hey, itsa alla good, homie” and I was like, “Yeah, I guess you’re right Mario.” Then Squirtle said if we wanted the picture he took of us we had to Venmo him 50 bucks and we were like, “That’s totally not cool, Squirtle” and he was like “Hey, Squirtle don’t do charity work.” So me and Mario beat the crap out him and took his cell phone and texted the picture to Mario’s cell phone and smashed Squirtle’s cell phone and threw it in the pond and threw Squirtle in the pond. Then we played frisbee.
So I guess it was a good day, but I’m still bummed I don’t get to go to Philly.